Thank you all for the congrats. I'm truly still trying to process this all. Of course, I took 2 more tests and they both turned positive before the line that shows the test was complete was actually there. I'm still super tired and my boobs are sore and peeing just a tad more than usual. Of course the lovely cramping that accompanies the pregnancy also.

I'm thinking my due date would be Nov. 30 but that's a guess. I have to get this confirmed by the Dr. and I'm sure she'll order an u/s soon. I'm just so damn worried that the u/s will show nothing, or a dead baby again. How the hell do people go through this time after time? I'm just praying for now and hanging on with all my nauseated moments that this is a good sign. I'm mean I can't worry myself silly, cause that's no good for me too. Ugh, just no easy way is there.

Hubby is thrilled about it, but we've just come to an agreement that if god forbid, something should happen this time again, we aren't going to do this again. This is it for us. It's terribly sad to think this may be it, but hell I never thought we'd get to this point again. I'm really so scared.

On to happier thoughts, Julie has bestowed on me a blogger award which I am truly grateful for being thought of for this. Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it.

Umm, I really have nothing else to write about, just scared. scared and more scared. Take care all.

So I finally tested............

Ok, so I didn't test yet. I know, I know, I said I would already but I haven't.

Still late. I'm thinking that i am, but anyway, I will have to confirm with a test.

I'm still getting nauseated at like 5am in the morning. It was so bad the other night I was gagging. If I'm not preggie, I must have a flu!

I will test tomorrow I think, I have just been so freakin' busy at work I hadn't had a chance.

Anyway, must go watch America's Next Top Model, cause I'm addicted!

Well....

I'm still late.

Nauseated with no desire to eat anyone??? Ugh, the sight of food sickens me. I'm thinking this could be a sign. My pulse is retardedly high, like 140bpm, almost went for an EKG today at work, yah that would have been cute. Now that I analyze this, (cause I'm a chronic analyzer, LOL) I was describing all symptoms of a possible preg to my Dr. I'm SUPERRRRRRRR tired, I thought I'd fall asleep today at work.

But, I don't have to pee much, no more than usual, my boobs aren't anymore sore than usual and I'm super cranky and hateful during my pms stage.

Must test tomorrow.

I have to change the look of this blog, I'm sick of it.

I may have spoke too soon.... (TMI)

.... on my last post. What had happened was a slight amount of spotting. Now I'm late.

One day.

I'm not going to test today. I swear to this though, anytime that I'm late, I'm preggie. Maybe it's my mind playing tricks, maybe wanting it bad enough I could be late. Blah.

Symptom-wise I'm analyzing everything.

Boobs=sore to touch
peeing-enough, but of course it's more often right before I start too.
cramps=a lot, on both sides of my abdomen, reminds me of why I took a preg test with A.

Well this is one that makes me wonder. I was starting an IV yesterday and the lady was bleeding quite a bit from her old IV site and I was getting weak, I had to sit. Normally that doesn't gross me out. And one of the Dr.s wanted me to assist with a knee aspiration and the needle was massive he was putting in the knee, I almost barfed. So I am curious there about those things.

If I don't get a period by Tuesday I'll test. Then I'll be really late.

PS. Shannon, rub A535 is a medicated type of cream you can rub on sore joints, it gets EXTREMELY HOT and then goes to a COLD type of feeling. It burns like hell from my experience.

2 posts in one day, I think that's a record for me .

Just snuggling here with my baby, the way we used to back when she'd sit for longer than 5 minutes in my lap. No need to test now, my period showed up, just on time, a day early and everything.

So I saw Grey's last night, not sure what I am thinking of it at this point. It's just not as good as it was. I miss the way it was.

I watch America's Next Top Model last night too, I love that show. Hubby thinks it's horrible but I'm totally addicted to it and must see who gets kicked off from week to week. I think this Renee one is a little nutty. Her pics are nice but she's just a little too competitive, well that's what is portrayed of her anyway.

I had a few days off from work, and I so don't want to go back there on Monday. It's nice to actually enjoy a day off with the kids, without walking around in zombie mode. Speaking of work, must post something that had happened when I was working at the nursing home. Naturally, most of the residents have some kind of dementia/confusion, some need of being there. There are some that live there that are with it and quite independent, but most are early dementia or full blown. Anyway, this one lady is obsessed with creams of any kind, always using it and whatnot. She's mostly with it at times and has her own stash of hand lotions and whatever in her dresser. Well, one day she used her rub A535 as a vaginal cream. I shit you not. Needless to say, she's not allowed to have any type of medicated cream at her bedside anymore! Damn that had to hurt, I thought it was burning my back of the day hubby put some on my back, nevermind down there!~ Just another lovely day at work :P

Well the results are in:

His biopsy was normal. So no diet for him. I'm relieved, but in the same sense I was grasping at straws here hoping this was the reason for his learning difficulties. Anyway, we'll survive.

On the TTC front, one more day to go until I can test. I'm due to start tomorrow, although I think it'll come today. The cramps are kicking in high gear today and the lovely bitchiness is prominent today. Geez, why is it that it happens so easily when you don't expect it and then when you try, it seems to take forever??

Since my computer is being an ass, I decided to post here the answer to Claudia's question.

My son was always a sickly kid, but in October '06 he was sicker than usual. He had dropped to 39lbs and was vomiting pretty much every second evening. I thought that maybe it was the flu for the first week of this sickness but then it was getting to be too much of a routine. I then thought oh well sounds like reflux, he'd wake up vomit, then go back to bed. So I figured after the 4 weeks of this, it was time to see the Dr. We both thought given the symptoms that it was most likely reflux but she wanted to do bloodwork too, just to check him over, since I have Crohn's, if it were that his ESR would be elevated. She had also mentioned she would test for celiac disease since he was getting bloodwork done too, one local pediatrician said it was the "under-diagnosed" childhood disease. That was in November when he had that bloodwork done.

December came and I made an appt for the kids to get their flu shots. Imagine my surprise when she told me his bloodwork came back + for celiac disease. Now I had to wait for an appt to see a pediatrician to get a biopsy done, because even though his bloodwork was + he may still not have it. Well he could infact develop it later on, the dilemma still exists, should you go gluten-free to prevent what may eventually turn out to be celiac, who knows. But now I wait. I will actually finally know after all this freakin' time if he indeed has to go on that diet by 3pm my time. It's now 2pm. One more friggen hr.

I had asked one Dr. about behavior/learning difficulties and attitudes related to celiac disease said, "not in my knowledge but if you research on the internet you may find some correlation". Well ironically enough, I have found PLENTY of information with children being misdiagnosed as ADHD, all the while having celiac disease. When given the proper diet the child actually was better, now some children still end up having learning disabilities too. But many documented journal articles I've read, had the extreme of psychosis, which resulted from untreated celiac disease. With my major rant here, I am desparate to know for sure if my son has this before I write him off as having ADD, he may need a total dietary change and he may, just may, do better in school, hey I can pray right?? lol.

Few new things to write about

Well the baby now has 8 teeth, they are just coming in one after the other. She's also running, yes, running through the house from one end to the other. She's is so full of energy it's too funny. She makes this face where she squishes up her nose and closes the eyes while smiling. I'll have to take a pic.

The boy, still no word on whether he's definately got celiac or not. He's positive with the bloodwork, now we need to know regarding the biopsy. It's been over 3 weeks so the results should be in tomorrow.

Me, feeling like crap. Went to the Dr. because I feel horrible, got a slip for some bloodwork. My pulse has also been really rapid, running 120-130 bpm at most times. Maybe my thyroid is out of whack or could be something else, we'll see.

Work=crazy. Yes, the unit is nutty. I have had 2 patients die in the last 2 days. I assume #3 will be tomorrow. That old saying things happen in 3's isn't too far off. We do have another patient in poor condition.

Anyone else find Grey's Anatomy getting a little out of control? I used to really enjoy the story line about the patients and residents, but I find it's more like ER now with all the extra drama, I even found the acting on the last episode cheesy. Is it just me or what? And seriously after what Meredith went through realistically she'd probably still be hospitalized

Anyway, must go make supper, kids are back to school tomorrow after being off for March break. How on earth are those kids going to get used to waking up early after being off for a week, lol.

Ok, update as requested, :P

So I have a few new things to write about.

I'm in a flare up of my crohn's, currently on 50mg of prednisone. Can you say nutjob??
So I'm super cranky and hyper. Great combo eh?

Still waiting on the biopsy to see if my son has celiac. In other news, his teachers believe he had ADD. So now on to testing and so forth. The worst part, my 5 yr old is displaying similar things. But I do know it's too early to diagnose at her age. I hope that things will change.

The baby now has 5 teeth, and running all around. She's 11 mos old and in 4 weeks she'll be a yr.


It's my mom's bday so I'm going in for cake and a celebration. Hope all are doing well. I'll update soon.

Got the camera to upload pics. Here's some from a few weeks to a month ago. Hope you like :)

This is my whiny post.

I am 100% exhausted.

I have been working like crazy to try and make some extra $ before hubby returns to work, since we still don't know about babysitters. I have been putting ads in the local paper to try and get someone, but still here I am 2 weeks before he returns with no one. Who am I kidding? Who will want to work 12 hr days and nights and evenings. The nursing schedule BLOWS! Since I am on this topic, how much should I even pay someone to come here for 13 hrs a day to watch the baby then 3 other children for 4 hrs before we get home. Any suggestions??

In other news I am not pregnant. I'm quite upset about this. I really thought I was, but then I got the familiar premenstral bitchy syndrome and knew it was game over for this month. SIL had a big babyshower, that MIL had given her. I love that, no one did sweet F**k all for me then this, blah, just makes me deteste the inlaws more and more.....

Anyway, must go try and rest, not much else going on, just work, work, work. Hope all are feeling well.