Two days ago my oldest daughter turned 11. We got her a cake, but we had celebrated it a couple of weeks ago with a few of her friends over for a sleepover.

Since I never posted before about her birth story, what better time than now.

It was on my 17th birthday that I had found out that I was pregnant. I never imagined in my life that I would have a baby at that age. Telling my parents was the hardest thing I had to do, surprisingly enough they were supportive, disappointed but willing to help me with whatever choice I wanted to make. Her father (whom I am NOT with) kept saying, "get rid of it" and other nasty comments like that. Once I knew I was pregnant, I knew I would keep the baby, even though I knew it would be hard, especially in school, grade 12.

My pregnancy was awful, I was sick for 7 of the 9 months. Swelled up like a balloon at the end of it and was 2 weeks late.

Finally, the day before she was born, as I was getting ready to go to school, I had the lovely bloody show. I figured hell, I know it'll take time, but what other good reason to stay home, so I did. Labor started that night at around 8pm. I had contractions regularly throughout the night and about 4 am I went to the hospital. I was scheduled for an induction that morning if I didn't go in labor on my own so the nurses had the room booked for me. In I went. I was hooked up to the monitor and was checked, I was 5cm dilated. The nurse asked if I wanted pain meds and I did. So after I had demerol the labor slowed down. Great, so walk, walk and walk. Around 9am things really didn't progress much so on the pitocin. About 20 minutes after this started, that's when the torture began. The contractions were actually non-stop, for 2 hrs. Well of course that's how it felt. I'm sure there were spaces but at that time, I didnt feel any break at all. I remember hearing the nurse saying, we have to stop this now, I took that as a bad sign.

Anyway, they gave me med after med and eventually I just got exhausted after all of this. At this hospital there were no epidurals so I just had demerol.

I finally was fully dilated and time to push, after 2 hrs of pushing the Dr decided to use the vacuum to assist the baby out. He put that on her head twice and it didn't work, popped off both times. Lovely, then I remember the biggest looking salad tongs on earth...... FORCEPS! Ack! He explained it and whatnot, and then in they went and as I pushed, he pushed apart ME to try and help the baby out. OUCHFUCKINGOUCH! She finally came out after 2 1/2 hrs of pushing, she was OP with a Brow presentation, google that and see what you find.

I was told after the fact, I was lucky she's alive considering she was a vaginal birth. I had an episiotomy too and had asked how many stitches and the Dr. told me he lost count after 50. Nice, just what I needed at 17yrs.

Anyway she weighed in at 7lbs 13oz. 22inches long. She was perfectly healthy with a lovely conehead. Good thing I had no postpartum because I would probably have freaked at sight of her head, with the blisters from the failed vacuum procedure.

When she was about 2 weeks old that when the colic started, she was colicky till she was 5 mos old. I would be up till 3 am each night walking the halls, my father and I would take turns as I studied for exams. How I made it through school and raising her I'll attribute to my parents help, I would never have done it without them.

She's a great kid, just had a rough start, and I'm so glad that I made the right decision almost 12 yrs ago. :)

The kids all know, they had some mixed reactions.

R the oldest, who is 11 tomorrow said:
"mom, are you kidding, no really, are you serious, omg, that's insane~"

E (boy) said:
"I hope it's a boy, I don't want anymore stinky girls around here"

E (girl) said:
"why mom?, Why are you having another baby, we just got one."

That was the cutest response. R is pretty much the happiest, cause she understands and whatnot, the other 2 don't have much to say, little E (girl) told everyone she knew, her friends at school, teacher, cousins, LOL.

I also wanted to post for my own records that I am in a massive flare up of my crohns' again. Why wouldn't I be? Urgh, I'm on 40mg of prednisone right now, my GI wants to me stay on that dose for 3 more weeks then taper off, I'll have a pumpkin head at the end of that! Anyway, I saw my OB on Wed, cause his office is down from the unit I worked in and gave me all the prescriptions and the rush apppointment to see the GI guy. Hey, never a dull moment in my life is all I say.

Well, we finally told the family.

My mom was happy, scared about how sick I was last time with A but happy there's another baby on the way.

Dad, I'll just quote what he said to my mom, "wow, everytime C walks by her with a hardon she gets pregnant". That was too funny, nasty that dad said that, but funny. They just marvel at how fertile we are. LOL.

His Dad, YEEEEE HAAAAAH! he loves kids so I knew he wouldn't be the worry to tell.

His MOM, "What???~!!??!" "Are you serious?" "I don't know what to say"

I guess it's better than her last reaction of "i think your f&&&Ing nuts"

Next step, we're telling the kids tonight, I'll post about what they say.

Denise from Cameron's Corner (on my blogroll) is doing interviews, if you are interested go to her site and she'll email you a list of 5 questions. Here are hers:

1. If money were not an issue and you had a million dollars to donate to charities, which ones would you want to donate to?
First I would donate to a sick kids charity. There's nothing that would make me happier than to see children get better. Around the eastern part of where I live is the IWK hospital and it's a great place for children kids with lukemia, burns, you name it.


2. Do you and the Mr worry about finances with five kids?
Hell yes, all the time, but I don't let it consume my life. We do have a fairy decent income but really to comfortably afford 5 children is going to be tough. But hell what did people do way back when they had hardly any income and 15 kids! We'll survive and we'll be happy as long as we have each other and our health we'll get through. I know it sounds corny doesn't it!

3. What is your favorite thing to do by yourself? Sleeping does not count?
Ok, all on my own, I love to read a good book. Without interruption. Also I love to take a hot bath on my own. I'll repeat, with no interruptions!

4. Which country would you like to visit and why?
I would love to visit Paris, France. I don't know why, I figure it would be a place that I would much prefer to go to rather than a hot beach resort. If infact hubby and I ever get away on our own, that's where we'd love to travel to.


5. Other then the Mr who is your biggest supporter?
I would say my parents. They've helped me during schooling and are helping me now when I need it most for them to care for the kids so we can both work.

Great questions Denise :)

Things on my to do list:

1.Take A to get her 1 yr needles. I am totally not looking forward to this. Hopefully she won't be too upset, I'm not worried about the actual needle, it's the after effect that clings for days.

2.I have to get a date for my u/s. This not knowing when I'm due is going to drive me silly. I really think though it's near the end of November putting me at 8 1/2 weeks. Only 3 1/2 more weeks for the 2nd trimester to start.

3.Buy some groceries. I have to start making a decent meal around here. I have no desire to do anything, it's really ridiculous. I'm super exhausted and need to get my butt in gear and get some much needed things done, such as make suppers, and put away laundry.

4. Stop the damn whining. There, I've said it, I'm a constant whiner and no one wants to read about it, and I certainly don't want to read back in my journal and see "whine whine, bitch and complain".

So that sums it up on my to do things. Oh my oldest is 11 on Friday. We already had a cake and a little party for her, but I'm sure I'll get another cake so we can celebrate at home together.

I had the most uneventful weekend ever. I worked Friday night and pretty much slept all Saturday. On Friday morning I found out that my monitor for my computer wouldn't work, so I bought a new flat screen one. Much better than what I had.

Just so tired! The nausea is pretty much non-existent, only happens in the evenings or at night shift, because I am so desparate to sleep, but I find if I eat, I feel a bit better.

Finally told a couple friends, remember the ones with the hateful remarks, well I told them the truth. In my opinion it's pretty fuckin' bad when you can't be happy about an u/s to friends. The only ones that know about is the ones that read it online. One girl was a little better about it and said, awww, what's one more, blah blah, but the other one was still an asshole. I have concluded that I'm not going to waste my time in talking to her. She is someone that I have met within the last year and could care less if I speak to her again. Asshole. Even pretend you are happy, try and keep your asshole comments to yourself, fuck I wouldn't even say that to someone what she said to me. Oh well that's my rant for today. I'm sure I'll post again soon.

I saw the most beautiful thing today:

my baby, just one, with a strong heartrate of 140bpm.

All went well at the OB. Did my girly checkup and said, all looks great, he thinks I'm due roughly Nov. 20, but I need my u/s to date it for sure. He said the uterus is a great size, and baby looks great and that my chances of m/c are greatly diminished, of course not erased.

Tomorrow is my 1st appointment, I'm so excited to hopefully see the baby, i just pray that the u/s goes well. This time last pregnancy, I was spotting all the time, no sign of any of that this time, thank God!

Today was the first time that I had "cravings". I desparately needed mustard, ugh, I had them on crackers. How gross is that? Ahhh but tasted so good. Also, when I came home, I was ravenous. I thought I would eat my arm off. So far for this pregnancy, I am totally thinking it's a boy. Reminds me of when I was preggie with my son.

Thursday last week I gave my letter of resignation to the nursing home. I was booked to work Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night, all without my acceptance. That was enough for me, I had had enough. The director insisted on calling me numerous times through the day, until she left a message wanting to "discuss" with me the resignation. I thought it was quite clear. "Please accept this as my letter of resignation, effective immediately".

Her assistant called me the next morning and I had explained to her, that I was in a flare up of my crohn's and that I'm done working there, that I had enjoyed it to the fullest but I no longer am available to work. That was sufficient enough. She understood and now I'm free. Damn, wish I didn't have to work at all ;)

In other news, today I am nauseated, jeez, I find it so odd that if I feel good I worry, if i feel bad I am happy. Just can't wait until Wed.

Well today is much better. Aside from the fact that I went to sleep at 7pm and woke at 8am. All I want to do is sleep. No nausea so far today, actually feel great. That's a little worrisome. Anyway, can't worry all the time that's not good either.

Only 3 more days to see if baby is ok, it's taking forever!

Oh to clarify, SIL had her baby on April 10th, a boy. It's her 3rd baby. :)

UGH!!!
I have been puking since yesterday. Yikes, I feel as though nothing is helping. I take my diclectin, which doesn't do much but put me to sleep and then once the drowsiness is over, I wake up and start gagging and barfing again. Anyone have any secrets to help deal with this sickness?

Went to the Dr. yesterday.

All went fine, she is sending me for my confirmation of the pregnancy along with the initial prenatal bloodwork. Also booking an u/s ASAP to find out my due date, since my periods have been unusual. She made the referral to my OB I went to last time too.

So I should hear within the next few dates on all the preggie appointments. It's fun to be doing this again, I'm so glad we are going through this one more time, just praying all goes well this time.

Ok, just found out my first OB appointment is Wednesday the 18th, I'll be having an u/s then to make sure baby is ok.

Finally got a Dr. appointment for tomorrow.

Canape had asked how I was feeling, my answer:
Awful. But terribly grateful for it. Does that make sense??lol. Nauseated MANY times throughout the day, actually am giving away my secret to co=workers cause I run gagging to the lav numerous times through the day.

I'm super sensitive to smells. One lady had a pretty fruity smelling hand cream on and everytime I went near her I gagged.

Constantly hungry, but can't eat much. Ugh, the thoughts of food makes me sick right now.

My crohn's has been fairly decent so far this pregnancy so we'll see how it behaves for the remiander.

I guess this is all for now, I'm exhausted and must sleep. Will post tomorrow after my appointment.

Happy Easter/Birthday/whatever!

It was literally next to impossible to get a picture of her smiling. She was very overwhelmed with all the people that had shown up to her party. Well it wasn't that much about 13 (all family) but too many people in one area at once.

Of course the cake, not hard to tell A's name here ;)

The first bite, should I or shouldn't I?
She hesitated a bit on it, didn't know if she should go all the way crazy with the cake.....

But she loosened up and went wild! ahahhaa, she loved it, she was trying to feed me between big hunks of chocolate cake.

Happy 1st Birthday~

My baby is 1 today!

We are having a little party for her soon. I'll take some pics and post them later of course.
This time last year my water had just broken. Wow, I just can't get over how fast this year has gone. I love you little girl, it's been a great year :)

Why can't I sleep?
I'm so exhausted but yet I have times where I just can't sleep. It only really happens when I wake up in the middle of the night for one of my many times of going to the bathroom. Last night for instance, I was woken up by a phone call at 1am saying I was supposed to be to work last night, imagine that~ Seriously this time I had booked off but they didn't change it, so the other nurse that was there called looking for me at that time of the night. Of course I immediately called her and told her that it was so and so that took the message that I wouldn't be there for work tonight and I had told her that on Thursday.

I finally made up my mind I'm going to resign from that place. I love the nursing home dearly, it's a slower pace, I enjoy my time there, the co-workers are great but we have one slut of a director. She's hateful and this is the one that tried to force me to work the holidays when I was working the odd shift while still on maternity leave. The lady is the worst thing that could have happened to that place and I am going to leave. I mean I still have a full time job at the hospital on the ortho ward. I just enjoyed my time at the nursing home, I wasn't running like a nut getting new admissions half the day at the nursing home. It's a decision that took me quite a time to finalize but I must do it soon before she trys to use her authority to dismiss me as an employee. Apparently if I refuse 3 shifts in a 2 week period I can have my job taken from me. I would much rather quit than be canned~

I still haven't made an appointment to see the Dr. The only time that I could go when she is in her office is the 16th of April, if not then it will be the end of April. I just wish I could relax and start to enjoy being pregnant again and not worry about what could happen. It's awful this worrying all the time.

Well I finally saw the newest epidose of America's Next Top Model, cause I fell asleep at 8pm the night it was originally aired. I was so upset to see Diana kicked off, she's one of the prettiest girls on the show, "full-figure" like she looks like a real woman, and they gave her the boot cause Jay asked why she wanted to be ANTM, and she said, "just cause". Well shit, I suppose if that's a good enough reason then fine, but I am so terribly disappointed to see her go~

So far you can probably tell I'm super emotional these days. My post yesterday may have given me away ;)

I appreciate all of the comments and some people's comments made me realize that yah, maybe they were reacting as if it were them experiencing this, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. But hell I'm still pissed for now. I guess they'll know about this baby (god willing if all goes well) once I start getting big, because I have no plans to let them know anytime sooner. Neither do I plan on telling the family. Well hubby's that is. I mentioned how my MIL said when I announced A's upcoming arrival: "i think your F**&*ng nuts". That's enough for me, nope she'll have to guess on her own about this one.

The funniest thing is that I am giving my baby things, the swing, carseat, playgym and clothes to my cousin who's having a girl in May. I couldn't even tell my mother the difference, she can just take the stuff and I'll have to get it back in the fall, and of course my maternity clothes are gone too. Looks like I may have to go shopping for some new things.

Well I'm not sure what else to blog about, I'm freezing, my boobs hurt, i have cramps that are driving me nuts, I know I had them with A but it's a constant worry that I may miscarry. But I'm a nauseated as can be at different times through the day, actually I feel good right now, and I'm superr tired.

Haha there's some random blogging for ya, eh Jen!

I'll leave you with my little darlings pic, she's going to be 1 on Friday, I still can't freakin believe it!

Sad

So hubby and I are pretty excited about this new baby coming, so happy that I decided to tell 2 of my closest friends.

Here's thier reaction:

1. Yah right, hahahahaha, ok, whatever. (basically she didnt' believe me, so I just went along with her and said, naaahhh of course I'm not)

2. Are you crazy?!?!! Don't you have enough??? Why would you have more? Why aren't you or hubby fixed.

This one made me feel so bad last night that I told her that the test must have been a false positive and that I started my period and that I'm going to my Dr. to get a tubal done.

How's that for support????
Congratulations would be a start.

And all is well so far with me. Just very upset with my so called "friends".